An Angels Game, Revisited
by Mynsii
Summary: She watched and waited, and drew. And suddenly Sora forgot all about his love for Riku, and Riku's heart shattered, and forever ended. The Angel smiled. SoRiku R


Leah-Marie Cain

**THIS IS A REDRAFTED VERSION OF A DRABBLE. Still unbeta-ed, but whilst I try and complete my current projects (three beastly one shots at 50+ pages each) please be satiated with a much improved version of this, and expect several other small oneshots shortly.**

_The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.__  
__**Salvador Dali**_

A common misconception in life, was – and still is – that angels are good. That they watch over and shield you from the pain and misery life throws at you. And whilst it was true that angels often watched, they did not always protect. In fact, the notion of protection was almost laughable for them, for many angels only offered torment.

Because just like human's, angels had the capability to be good and bad.

One such angel was called Namine.

She was what all humans expect in angels – soft milky skin, feathered wings, large harmless blue eyes, and fair golden hair. However she did not live in heaven, nor did she wear a halo.

She simply dwelled in a world that never quite was, but also wasn't.

Namine liked to watch the human world and illustrate. Draw memories and a future, and of course these drawing's came true. Because that was her 'gift'. So she drew, manipulating people like puppet's. She claimed to be neither good, nor bad. Simply _bored_.

So Namine would sit in her white room and draw. Lives, hopes, dreams – willing them all to life with such an ease that the person whose life she was altering was helpless- and completely oblivious. She enjoyed the power, and always worked her puppeteering to her advantage. That was how she occupied her ever lasting time, how she'd always occupied her time since she'd become an angel.

So when she caught fellow angel Roxas- an angel who'd captivated the remnants of her 'heart' some many years ago- gazing fondly at the human world, eyes fixated on a human boy named Axel, his aura a beautiful soft pink, Namine took out a clean sketch just for the hell of it, Axel fell in love with a mysterious blue-eyed-blond-haired boy who graced his dreams. Roxas swelled with joy and hope that maybe, _just maybe _he and Axel could be together. Then Axel fell under the front of a truck, and died mumbling sweet nothings about a beautiful blonde. "_I wanted to see Roxas.."_

Roxas found Namine and begged her to draw him wings so that Axel could join him. Namine refused.

Roxas never spoke to Namine again.

So, the blond witch scanned the human world eagerly, looking for her new plaything. Occasionally she'd kill a human, then grace him or her with their own pair of 'wings'; A wounded soldier who was in the boarder-land of dying and living, who clutched at his younger blond lover until Namine snatched at him.

A silver haired boy, searching endlessly for a mother to love him.

A young man with hair of slate chocked to death by a companion he may have once considered a friend.

And these people – the fledgling angels Namine created out of sheer boredom, never greeted her fondly when they tumbled into the world that never was. They merely grieved for the life that could have been, and for those they left behind, wishing fruitlessly that they'd never entered the world that never was.

And when the living moved on, these angels couldn't.

So Namine would tire of them; tire of their anguish and would once again scour the earth for the perfect puppet.

And then she saw them.

A white blond teenager, the love of his life, and their best friend.

And so, with a smile, Namine took out her sketchbook and drew.

.:::.

Ever since he was a child, Riku had loved Sora.

As a child, he couldn't always explain how he felt – couldn't always describe the way his heart skipped in wonderful yet scary ways when their skin brushed. Couldn't express the joy he felt when the brunette, so trusting and beautiful, gazed up at him with those impossibly pretty eyes that glistened like diamonds.

All Riku knew is that when he and Sora were together, he turned from a quiet, and more than a little sullen, child, into someone who was undeniably _happy_.

Of course, with age, these thoughts and feelings became more clouded and muddled with a blossoming sense of sexuality. Riku wanted more than anything to love Sora openly and unconditionally, but was painfully aware of the fact that they were both male. And mommy and daddy always told him '_the prince and the princess always get married, and live happily ever after_.'

Without a doubt, Riku knew that Sora was the prince, Sora was too perfect, too pure, too utterly and completely incredible to be anything but. And he had no chance of being a princess, nor did he have the inclination to be the damsel in distress, so he settled into the life of 'best friend.'

And then, when they we're fourteen, Kairi arrived.

She was everything Riku imagined a princess to be; svelte, soft shiny hair, unblemished complexion, a slightly hour-glassed figure, her tiny hips and budding breasts gaining whistles of approval from most of the male resident's of their home. And because Riku felt that it was something that he _should _be doing, despite the fact that it didn't appeal to him, he proudly declared he had a crush on Kairi.

And Sora, following suite as he always did, made a similar declaration.

Despite the initial sting, Riku was sure that this declaration from Sora was empty. Sora had treated Kairi no different from Wakka, or Tidus or Selphie. But he joined in when Riku set up little competitions in order to gain Kairi's attention.

And of course, Riku knew these competition's were fake, but he also had this gut feeling, that Sora knew this too. Sometimes he swore that on those lazy afternoons, in the twilight soaked backdrop, Sora stared at Riku with a look of adoration in his eyes that stemmed much deeper than friendship.

And this gave Riku hope.

.:::.

It was when Riku and Sora were seventeen, that things changed, and Riku's life irrevocably altered.

Riku was now a well toned young man, with eyes of glistening teal and feathery back length hair that shone with an almost silver glow. The girls swooned over him, and the boys admired him. Sora had grown into a chocolate haired cherub, face still retaining its soft features, despite now resting on an adults characteristics. All in all, Riku was handsome and Sora was beautiful.

And it was when they were seventeen, Riku asked Sora to meet him at the beach at midnight, like they'd often done when they snuck out to see the stars. It had taken all of his courage to ask – and made sure that this invitation did not extend to Kairi, who despite being nice n'all, got in the way a little _too_ much.

Sora had happily complied, for although he had never admitted it out loud, he was more than a little bit in love with his best friend, because as long as Sora could remember, Riku was the only reason for his happiness.

Midnight rolled around, and Riku was surprised to see that Sora was already there – the younger boy was not one for punctuality- and was in nothing but a pair of swimming trunks, his body submerged in the black-blue water. And he turned, and his face, so stunning in the soft light of the night's sky, took Riku's breath away. Stripping down to just his boxers, he'd joined Sora in the water, his long fluid movements casting the scene into a dream like state.

But Riku was sure this wasn't a dream. He was sure this was blissful reality.

And because it felt natural and right, Sora pushed himself against Riku, and Riku held him. Hand's traced arms, and hips and a chests, until finger's found a chin and tilted it upwards, and lips met. Riku had felt Sora smile into the kiss, felt the boys eyelashes flutter closed and brush against his cheek, a soft tongue swipe across Riku's bottom lip, a gentle, contented sigh.

And it was heaven.

After what seemed like a dazzling eternity, lips parted and Sora had leant his head on the space of Riku's chest, just above his heart, kissing the spot softly before tentatively mumbling "_I love you". _Suddenly Riku had seen forever. Forever was magnificent, moving out into their own place, making love in the lazy, early morning sunlight, travelling the world. Forever was superlative.

What Riku didn't count on, was an angel viewing all of this from a room in a world stuck between reality and make-believe. And upon seeing this; the raw, unadulterated emotion, the glorious pink aura's that engulfed the pair- the angel began to draw.

And forever was cut short.

.:::.

The next day, Riku's hope shattered.

"Me and Kairi are a couple, can you believe it?"

The words broke Riku's heart as he stood there trembling, jaw slack.

Riku had awoke that morning with a soft contented smile, the memories of the night before still wonderfully fresh in his mind. When his cell had buzzed with the message 'Big surprise – lets meet x' from Sora, the joy that radiated from him was almost when he arrived, Riku was not greeted by the Sora who had loved him the previous night.

Instead, this Sora had merely stood there, smiling broadly, standing behind a beautiful, slim red-headed _girl. _His hand's resting on Kairi's now fuller hips. Riku wanted to throw up.

He wanted to cry.

He wanted to scream.

And some part of him – both irrational and rational- wanted to die.

But he had smiled, mumbled "Took you guys long enough." And blinked back the tears. _Last night must've really been a dream. I should have known that it was too good to be true, Sora is too good for me, too pure. Why would Sora have looked and me and touched me like that in reality? It must have been a dream, and now I've been forced to wake up and endure a living nightmare. _

When he looked into Sora's eyes, and aqua met blue, he saw nothing but a glow of friendship. The adoration he'd come to rely on to get him by day by day for the last seventeen years was gone. It was as if those years, and that glorious night had never existed.

Somewhere deep inside his chest, Riku's heart fractured.

An angel smiled.

.:::.

"So, when did this happen?"

They'd been left alone, and Riku wanted answers, it took him every ounce of strength to make his voice controlled enough to not sound like he was all but crying. To control the quivering limbs which threatened to buckle at any moment beneath him.

Sora's smile had been dazzling, but it was not a smile for Riku, it was a smile for Kairi. And _Jesus_, how it had _hurt_.

"I don't know, I just woke up and it felt right. Like the longing all these years had been for her. And it's odd, I kinda thought that I _loved _this other person all this time, but today I just realised that he'd never be good enough for me, he wasn't the one who I needed to rescue. Kairi's my soul mate, I just know it."

Hugging himself and forcing a weak smile, Riku managed a single mono-syllabic response.

"Oh."

The fracture grew bigger.

.:::.

They say that once you've had a taste of perfection, something so _divine,_ something you've _craved_ for so long , that once you've had them saying goodbye and letting go is an almost impossible endeavour.

Riku wasn't sure who 'they' were, but he whole-heartedly agreed with them.

They also say that it is better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all.

Riku thought that this however, was complete and utter bullshit.

.:::.

Namine watched as Riku endured the Kairi and Sora 'LoveGate' for several weeks. Their aura's all changed dramatically.

Kairi's turned a deep purple, a manipulative streak in her enhanced by Namine positively _glowing _(in the literal sense) that she had Sora, and RIku did not. Sora's turned from a pretty green, to a bright burning red whenever he was in Kairi's presence.

And Riku's.

Well, Riku's changed slowly from pink, to a vile green, then into a deep dark grey.

To Namine, the game was beginning to get interesting.

For Riku, life was looking as bleak as his aura.

.:::.

The single night when Riku had been sure that Sora had reciprocated his love, had span in his mind for weeks. He couldn't comprehend how one day life had been at its highest peak, and the next day it engulfed him in a darkness so bitter, it _reeked_.

_I kinda __**loved **__this other person all this time, but today I just realised that he'd __**never be good enough**__ for me, he wasn't the one who I needed to rescue. Kairi's my soul mate, I just know it._

The words had haunted Riku since Sora said them; they burned to the point that he was sure they were branded onto his brain.

_I just realised that he'd never be good enough for me._

Riku wasn't ashamed to admit he went home and cried after that.

Because although he always knew he wasn't good enough, the fact that this had been confirmed destroyed him.

Sora had always been a pure, innocent ray of sunshine that guided him throughout their childhoods. Riku had always been the manipulative one with a bit of a temper. But he had hoped. Hoped from that spark in Sora's eye, hoped from that magnificent moonlit kiss, that Sora could see past that, and love him back.

Only too quickly, Sora had repelled against him.

And Riku would've rather to have never had Sora, than to have given him up.

.:::.

"You're a real _witch_, you know that?"

Larxene, a fellow angel with a penchant for seducing hapless human men, had been watching Namine draw for hours, her pictures showing the unravelling of Sora's feelings for Riku, and intertwining them with Kairi's, leaving Riku's emotions, thoughts and memories completely untouched.

"I'm bored."

"You're _bad._"

"Says you. Besides, bad or good – they're incomplete, and I'm taking advantage. That's what human's are there for."

"You really are a full blown _bitch_."

Namine had merely smiled in response.

.:::.

_He'd never be good enough for me._

The words became an obsession for Riku. He'd repeated them over and over in his head, searching tirelessly for loopholes, explanations. _Anything._

With Sora's growing sexual desire for Kairi becoming increasingly obvious, the days had began to blur into a constant struggle for Riku to find something to pull him through the day.

_He'd never be good enough for me._

His sanity began to suffer, and Riku started doubting whether or not that wonderful, glorious, idyllic night on the beach had in fact happened, or whether or not it was a figment of his ever darkening imagination. Originally he'd been sure it was the latter, but then he'd remembered fragments of memories that _couldn't _have been dreamt.

_Never be good enough_

Tears had falen down Riku's face every time he'd thought about Sora and Kairi together. But he couldn't stop thinking about it, couldn't stop torturing himself about one small fact;

Kairi had everything Riku wanted, and had to live without.

And what was formally a caring feeling of friendship, was now smouldering and burning within him. And he _hated _Kairi. He hated her with a darkness that engulfed his heart with a vile, putrid scent. But he didn't care.

It reminded him that he was real.

That despite the fact _she _had taken everything away from him, he was still _real._ The darkness; the ever present shadows that consumed him, were real, and that was all that he had left to clutch desperately onto.

Namine watched this growing hatred and all consuming darkness with hungry eyes – and drew.

.:::.

"Riku!"

The silver haired boy had leapt up at the sound of this voice. _His _voice.

It'd been midnight and he was by _that_ spot. Waiting, dreaming for an absolution he thought would never come. He span on the spot, hearing his name tumble from the cherubs lips and was greeted by Sora's face by his.

And Riku was then _sure_ he was dreaming. But he hadn't cared.

Because In that moment there had been an explosion of heat, and Sora's hands were in his hair, and his mouth was on Riku's and his tongue had aggressively invaded his mouth. Riku's breath had came in a wild gasp, and his eyes fluttered shut, his own hands on Sora's waist, lowered down to his hips. Searching, hungrily memorizing every inch of him.

Dream or no.

Except, when it hit him, it wasn't a dream, and as they fought for dominance in an embrace so passionate it was violent, Riku had been happy, because Sora was here; real, ferocious and hungry against him, hands searching ravenously along his body, hot and greedy.

Then Sora had broken the kiss, looked up at Riku with those beautiful blue eyes and said ' I hate you.'

Then he walked away.

Up in the world that never was, Namine chuckled.

Heat.

So much heat.

Then

_I hate you.'_

And the fracture grew into a fissure.

"His aura's black, you know."

.:::.

Larxene had watched quietly for most part, but occasionally added the odd quip. One such incident had been when for the first time in several human weeks, she'd seen Riku, and his aura was a deep coal.

"I _know L_arxene. I _do_ watch him all the time."

"Black means he's going to die soon." The older blond had leaned forward to get a better view, inspecting the human boy thoroughly. "He's not sick though, how odd."

"Not sickness, suicide."

Larxene had pursued her lips, biting back a smirk. "Like I said Namine, and like I will keep repeating; you're a real witch."

.:::.

_I hate you. _

Three words had broken Riku's heart.

And yet, just two months ago three different words had made him feel completely and utterly alive.

_I love you. _

Forever had disappeared completely now, and the final straw had been the next night, when he'd gone down to the beach, to find Kairi and Riku _'making love._' In the same spot Riku had first kissed Sora. In the same spot Sora had kissed him the previous night before declaring his hatred.

And it was raw.

Painful.

So he slapped her, hard across the face, and Sora had looked at him with such an aggressive venom, that Riku felt like his heart had been crushed. He'd gone home, reeking of a darkness that raged within him he could not control, and dragged a razor across his wrists.

When his mother had found him the next day, lips parted and eyes glossy – peering, scared, doubting, Riku was already dead.

And as he was slipping away, Namine had drawn him wings.

_Just in case. _

.:::.

When Riku entered the border-land, a world between Namines and his own, he discovered why none of the angels Namine had plucked from the world ever greeted her with adoration.

He saw _everything. _

Because what Namine didn't know, or perhaps she simply forgot from all the years of being _not _human, was that if an angel brings you into the afterlife you see everything about you. A montage of memories, thoughts, feelings. What people thought and felt about you.

And Riku saw it –saw Sora him genuinely love him back till _she _interfered.

And the hatred that had consumed him transferred over to Namine.

.:::.

A common misconception in life, was – and still is – that angels are good. That they watch over and shie_ld you _from the pain, and misery life throws at you. But often, it was the angels who tormented you.

Because just like human's, angels had the capability to be good and bad.

One such angel was called Namine.

She was what all humans expect in angels – soft milky skin, feathered wings, large harmless blue eyes, and fair golden hair. However she did not live in heaven, nor did she wear a halo. She was a witch. She played with, rearranged and destroyed memories- hopes, dreams.

And she did it all from the comfort of a white room.

Where she saw a white haired boy, the one he loved and their best friends.

And unfortunately for Riku, she had began to draw.

Complex drawings, simple drawings.

It didn't matter.

But she never changed the way Riku felt. What he thought, nor his emotions.

Because that made it sweeter. She didn't need to. All she did was transfer the mutual craving Sora felt for Riku, onto Kairi.

And let the drama unfold.

Until it killed him.

And without Riku, it became boring, so Namine was all prepared to let Sora remember. To make him feel how he felt before she interfered. And let him feel what it was like to know that _he _had hurt Riku. That _he _had forced him to his _death._

Riku became an angel of darkness. But what Namine hadn't expected, is for the angel to exact revenge, when she'd seen him, she'd smiled, but that had quickly faded when she saw the look in his eyes.

And one day, Larxene had found Namine, slumped and broken, on the desk in her room.

And the only thoughts to enter the angels head had been; _'Well I'll be damned. I didn't know we could die again.'_

Riku watched Sora. Because that's who Riku was, and not once did he let Sora remember.

_Because when the living moved on, these angels couldn't. Riku couldn't._

He protected him in the most unselfish way there was – he let him live his life with a women that Riku envied so much it hurt, all under the weeping angels watchful loving gaze, knowing that he could never let Sora remember what he felt. Because ever since he was a child, Riku had loved Sora.

As a child, he couldn't always explain how he felt – couldn't always describe the way his heart skipped in wonderful yet scary ways when their skin brushed. Couldn't express the joy he felt when the brunette, so trusting and lovely, gazed up at him with those impossibly pretty eyes that glistened like a teenager he tried to express this love, tried to act it out, and an angel had snatched him away, sending Riku's hopes and aspirations tumbling into non-existence.

And through this eternal sadness Riku found one source of happiness – the small glow in Sora's aura that still belonged to Riku.

A part of Sora buried deep inside his chest, hidden by Namine's web of lies. But when Sora thought about that blond haired boy, hidden beneath the seemingly endless thread of deciet that Namine had woven, it glowed a deep, vibrant pink.

And Riku took solace in this.

**I thought I'd write this as everyone writes Namine as some perfect, sweet **_**angel **_(-hah!-) **but after all, she did mess with Sora and Riku's memories. So she's obviously manipulative. So I amplifiedthis, and also added in some really emotional yaoi, because evidently, that's all I write **_***sweatdrop***_** Oh, and don't get me wrong – I like Namine ^^)**

11


End file.
